Please try to enjoy my first film, entitled “Terrible”. It’s about how occasionally I turn on the MacBook camera and tape myself doing senseless and unappealing things. Sequels to follow.

As you watch, try to keep to following in mind: this is my first attempt at moviemaking, I don’t really know how to use the editing software, I live in a very poorly lit home, and I have only the vaguest sense of what constitutes “entertainment” for the general populace. Also, in the past I’ve had bad luck posting homemade videos, so let me know if this doesn’t work. Now go get some popcorn! Or Sour Patch Kids! Or those chocolate circles with the crunchy white things on them that I don’t remember what they’re called! Or maybe some Swiss chard! That’s in season, isn’t it?



  1. “those chocolate circles with the crunchy white things on them ” : Sno-caps! Or, if you prefer the generic, nonpareils. Thank you, small town movie theater, for my candy education.

  2. Snowcaps! Those little pyramids of deliciousness! Also, swiss chard has about five more weeks before it is ready.

  3. gourdshaped Says:

    To hell with sno-caps – you just made coffee shoot out my nose.

  4. My child f’ing loves this.

  5. butthorn Says:

    Liz/Tori: It was “nonpareils” that I couldn’t think of. What an awful name for a candy. Do “pareils” exist? There’s a lackluster comedy routine in there somewhere, and by God I’ll find it. Also, Tori, I’m somewhere between im- and depressed that you have the Swiss chard harvesting schedule commited to memory.

    Sorry about the coffee through the nose, Jim. I can only hope it was iced, though somehow I doubt it. Anyway, thanks for changing the subject to how hilarious I am!

    Em K: I couldn’t be happier to hear that, honestly. I tend to go over well with the toddler demographic. Eager-to-please meets easy-to-please. Now if only I could somehow work the U.S. Post Office into my next film, I’d have a fan for life.

  6. Believe it or not he is not easy to please!! He is terribly fussy when it comes to entertainment. I took him to 3-5 year old story time at the library yesterday and I had to leave very quicklu. He is not into: children’s songs, fake british accents… it was a big mess. He did like your video, though. He also enjoyed seeing your wife on ichat. He wants me to bring “glasses annie” back on the computer so he can play with her like any of his applications!

  7. butthorn Says:

    Hahhaah! “Glasses Annie”! That’s fantastic! Man, that’s her! Glasses Annie! I’m so happy with that!

    “Glasses Annie” should be an application available for all computer users. Who wouldn’t want Glasses Annie at their conversational disposal?

  8. Hey! Whose cat is that?

  9. butthorn Says:

    That’s Kit. She used to be our cat until we moved to Seattle, when we essentially gave her and our other cat, Archie, to my parents. The cat portion is taking place in Maxfield at their house. Archie is generally more entertaining but not as gratifying to annoy.

    I miss kitties!

  10. Can I download the Glasses Annie extension for Firefox?

    Or maybe Word could replace that hateful leering paperclip with Glasses Annie. Man, do I harbor a disproportionately potent resentment and loathing for that paperclip. Glasses Annie, on the other hand, is welcome to give me grammatical advice!

  11. The influences of Jim Jarmusch are striking. “A mystical deception” can explain each facet of our lives, can it not?

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