THE WEEKEND IN REVIEW
Boy, did we ever waste yesterday. Wow. Not that our other days are typically chockablock with accomplishment, but Sunday set a new wonderous low. We did get together with our friend Emily K. at Pat’s Pizza for one of their cheap good breakfasts that I hadn’t had in a long time, and I’m not saying that part of the day was a waste of time, although it’s not like we got together to do our taxes or anything. It was a good chance to hang out, and to enjoy the nonstop laughter of a nearby table of apparently hilarious old people, one of whom turned out to be an English professor that both Emily and myself remembered from college, her less fondly than I. And then afterwards at Ampersand’s coffee shop I found a new, inexpensive wedding ring (30% off) to replace the one that I mysteriously lost (on Christmas Day, no less). It’s a lot less cumbersome than the original. Half the time I don’t even realize I’m wearing a ring, which is exactly the quality I’d been looking for. I don’t like things that clasp around body parts. Yes, I’m quite happy with this ring. I even feel like the marriage itself has improved, since I’m not resenting it for making me wear a big clunky metal thing on my finger. I haven’t even taken it off for the purposes of spinning it on a table, like one might a quarter. I used to do that a lot with the other ring, for the uproarious fun it unfailingly provided.
So actually, looking back, I guess we got plenty done. We just did it all before noon, a rarity in our household. At that point, we must have felt we had no choice but to lie down and stare at the TV/laptop all day, and that we most assuredly did. I played a lot of Luxor 2, as well. I simply cannot get past level 7 on that life-ruining game. I’ve played the level over 100 times now, without noticeably improving. There’s one particular section of level 7 called “Wallow of the Hippo God” that I’ve only made it past on one occasion. For all the time I’ve spent playing video games over the course of my inert life, it saddens me to think of how crappy I still am at most of them.
I think it probably has to do with my temper. Most of the time I’m more or less slow to rile, but when it comes to electronics, I have a seriously short fuse. Really, it’s more of a wick. If I can’t figure out how to hook something up in under two minutes, or if a DVD is skipping or otherwise malfunctioning, or if a webpage won’t download within .8 milliseconds, or if I can’t get past a level on a video game, the part of my brain that stops me from killing everyone abruptly closes up shop. During a particularly frustrating level of “Super Mario Galaxy” about a month ago, Annie had to stop me from furiously fellating the Wiimote in a blind, inexplicably homosexual rage. Seriously, I was shoving it down my throat and rapidly moving it in and out of my mouth while growling unintelligible threats, probably directed at Jesus. When she pointed out that this was ridiculous, disturbing, and, above all, unsanitary, I found myself without argument. Why my rage chose to reveal itself in the form of an apoplectic blowjob, I may never know. Anyway, male friends: next time you play a video game against me, it’ll probably be for the best for all concerned if you just let me win.
Saturday I went to Happy China Buffet with my pappy, and from there we went to Uncle Steve’s house to practice playing a song for the upcoming church talent show, which I somehow got roped into even though we don’t really attend church. I’m playing bass. It hurts. I haven’t been playing any sort of guitar much lately, and I never play bass, so it’s filleting my fingertips off. We practiced “The Thrill is Gone”, “Kansas City”, and “Sunshine of Your Love”. Not the type of church talent show I grew up with, I guess. And there I was, all prepared to rip through a blistering rendition of “Saviour, Like a Shepherd Lead Us”. To tell you the truth, I was a little disappointed.
Upon returning home from all of that, we watched the first disc of “Moonlighting: Seasons One and Two” which we got from Netflix. The experience was dead center between nostalgic bliss and disappointment due to misremembered or impossible-to-relive enjoyment. I think it’ll be worth watching another disc to see which way the scales tip.
My work does not close on Martin Luther King day! What a gyp! All those civil rights protests for nothing!