I am name-dropping Zac Efron and Hannah Montana in my blog title in a misguided attempt to attract a fresher demographic to my blog.

Welcome to my blog, youths! Cell phones! Low-rise jeans! WHOOOOOOOO!!!! That’s all I got for ya. Thanks for stopping by!

I wish I had an exciting update re: the supposed landlord-sanctioned inspection of our apartment, but nothing substantial seems to have come of it. No angry notes or helpful tips or passive-aggressive phone messages. Nothing. It’s impossible to even tell if an inspection was in fact carried out. So now I have to decide whether to kick back and bask in an apparent job well or at least satisfactorily done as far as cleaning goes, or maintain a jumpy unease as I wait for the landlord to show up when we least expect her since she obviously hasn’t found the time to pay us a visit this week. Or I could simply get drunk and play Animal Crossing. I guess technically I should be referring to the female co-owner of our building as a “landlady”, but how often do you get to refer to someone as a “lord” in this day and age? It lends an enthrallingly feudal air to an otherwise dismaying relationship.

We have been watching a lot of Muppet Show DVDs of late, having borrowed the first season from our friends, The Doughtys. (Incidentally, The Doughtys, we just mailed back the insurance cards that your child inserted into the Muppets Show DVD case today, so that should be coming along soon.) There are few things more relaxing and satisfying than watching old Muppet Show episodes while you eat supper. We also drank a good deal of wine last night and watched a movie called “The Namesake”, starring Kal Penn and a bunch of Indian people. It was quite touching. We wept repeatedly at the emotions. That’s two exceptional movies in a row from Netflix, which is a nice change of pace considering the stuff we’ve gotten lately has been pretty ploppy. Do not view “Hot Rod”, by the way.

Today we have already accomplished much. We went to the P.O. and mailed things of importance, including 5 (5!) books that Annie had to send out for Bookmooch (a site where you mail books to people and then that gives you points to be able to force other people to mail books to you that you want. it’s kind of hard to explain. well, not hard really, I just don’t want to do it. i’d link to it but I don’t know how to use this site very well and I’m unwilling to learn. it’s at http://www.bookmooch.com. maybe that will automatically create a link. who knows? i don’t know how to type in code and my brain no longer accepts new information.) as well as the aforementioned Doughty ID cards and the thoroughly viewed Netflix. I then, just minutes ago in fact, purchased Luxor 2 from RealArcade as one of my wife’s birthday (tomorrow) presents. I worried that this might be kind of a lame present, but the INSTANT I announced its purchase, she exclaimed “I want to play that right now!” and disappeared. It appears likely that I won’t see her at all for the rest of the day. Presents: you just never know. I realize there is a Luxor 3 now, but it runs a little choppy on our starting-to-suck 3-year-old computey, and we’ve been playing the original Luxor for so long now that any improvement seems amazing, and Luxor 2 is both a marked step up and runs like smooth jazz on our antiquated system. I may go shopping for holiday gifts while Annie shoots colored balls at other colored balls. Some cleaning should also take place. I slept late due to wine and thus did not allot myself much time to make use of the day. Crust.

I am chewing the remaining four pieces of a pack of gum that we didn’t end up liking but couldn’t bring myself to simply throw out, despite the fact that, with the benefit of hindsight, it actually would have been more enjoyable to place the unchewed gum into a wastebasket than to put it all into my mouth and deal with its flavors of crappiness. I am consequently abuzz with Nutrasweet. Yes, item-mailing and the chewing of gum. Is it any wonder I dashed to the laptop to share the details with potentially everyone who owns a computer? Willikers!

Sorry this is all one big glob of words. I typed it in with breaks between paragraphs, but this apparently means nothing to WordPress. I even tried using that HTML gobbledygook, but that also did nothing. I guess I should just fucking shoot myself right the fucking head for being such a fucking idiot! Laterz!!!! (It’s fixed now. Annie helped. You have to type the carat br thing twice, it turns out.)

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14 Responses to “I am name-dropping Zac Efron and Hannah Montana in my blog title in a misguided attempt to attract a fresher demographic to my blog.”

  1. I feel very old and not fresh now. Thanks.

    Zac Efron (sp?) makes me uneasy. I wouldn’t trust him.

  2. Honestly, I could not be more pleased with my current demographic, so don’t feel bad. I just like the idea of someone searching for Zac Efron and winding up at my blog. Few things are more enriching than the disappointment of strangers. Sadly, so far it hasn’t worked. Consider yourself fresh! Funky fresh, in fact!

    I would trust Zac Efron with my life. My LIFE!

  3. I don’t even know who Zac Efron is! It is probably better that way.

  4. You mean to tell me you haven’t seen “High School Musical” or its recently released sequel?!?! I thought you liked cinema! I thought you liked America!

    Actually, you’ll probably stop liking both of those things if you were to watch “High School Musical”. But then I’m judging it without having seen it. It could be heart-stoppingly life-affirming for all I know.

    I hear you guys are getting an Xbox for Xmas! Know what else I hear? The sound of my seething hatred for you guys! It sounds like this: SSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRGGGGGGG!

  5. 1) You just referred to someone we enjoy as “funky fresh.” I think if Emily were to see the way that compliment would be delivered in person, she’d have no choice but to take offense.

    2) We should get an Xbox AND the Katamari game…rub it right in the Ryrossis’ faces!

  6. Saying “Rub it right in the Ryossis faces” is an extremely SatiSfying Sybilant ExperienCe.

    If we get that Katamari game we’ll never get jobs, buy a house, or have children! I’ll see how much it is on Amazon…

  7. I’m lukewarm on both cinema and America at the moment.

    I’m sure if/when we purchase the 360 it will soon be followed by purchasing Beautiful Katamari. Which is on sale on Amazon btw. However, Katamari does not, as my dear wife would say: “batter my broccolini”. To steal yet another line, I agree with the Ninja at Askaninja.com that Katamari is a “big ball of boring”.

  8. I was mistaken – it is no longer on sale. I think it was on sale the other day, but no longer.

  9. WHAT? I’m questioning everything I’ve ever known about you, Dan. Though I do not see how it’s possible not to have one’s broccolini battered (by the way, this terminology fascinates me) by Katamari, perhaps the high definition of BK will make up for what’s lacking.

  10. She also uses “gentrifies my neighborhood” as an alternative to the broccolini line.

  11. Dan knows a little about High School Musical, because I make him do WildCat claws with me in the grocery store!

    I am trying to get new phrases into the zeitgeist! Please, won’t you add them to your repertoire?

    Tori

  12. I am wondering about the blog stats for this entry. Hey ‘butthorn’… did you get a lot of “zac efron/hannah montana” searches? This does fascinate me.

    I don’t mind funky but it seems a little icky mixed with fresh. It makes me think of salad with raspberry vinagerette or “That’s So Raven”.

  13. Unfortunately, no one has arrived at my blog via a search for either Efron or Ms. Cyrus. I’ll let you know once it happens. The “blog stats” section in WordPress is inordinately interesting to me.

    72 views so far though! Some of those are bound to be plucky tweens with bad taste!

  14. i am going to google unpleasant and zac efron and katamari and see what happens

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